Dear Pal,
Hello. I know you are well because the last we saw each
other you were vivacious except for the occasional gloom that showed on your
face whenever the topic of this letter popped up. I will not waste time with
pleasantries concerning school besides, we chat almost daily on Facebook until
late into the night.
I must acknowledge I received your letter today in the
morning in my email inbox with a tinge of consternation. The subject of your
letter, or let me call it mail: Love In the New Age. Whatever you meant with
that title I don’t know but I will swiftly delve into the content and offer you
a few suggestions as a friend concerning your predicament. Here, I am writing
as a friend, nothing more than that like I take a unit in Psychology,
therefore, I am best suited to assist you. My friend, I am in the same shit
only that I keep it in wraps.
You wrote in your letter that the past has refused to let
you go. It has imprisoned you. ‘It is dogging you like a master to a slave.’
Those were your exact words. You narrated at length how fixated you have been
with your first love even though she long ‘accepted and moved on’ more than a
half a decade ago to another man’s arms.
In the same paragraph, you lamented at how a girl you broke
her heart has been tormenting you because she recently texted you that she ‘…was
taken long ago and don’t waste your time.’ And your college ex-friend is uncomfortable
to even meet you after you ‘tossed her like bucketful of excreta’ just a few
months before you heroically quit college to pursue your dreams. Now, in your
mid twenties, you feel you have ‘stagnated seriously…in love’ and some dark
shadows are holding you back from bursting into the future and reveling in its uncertainties
and surprises.
A persistent ghost keeps dragging you back enticing you
with how glorious and gorgeous your past love life was and if possible; you
should try and salvage it before it’s too late. Others tell you to concentrate
on the present. Leave the future to its own devices. It will unfold itself.
However, these are my suggestions.
You can try all or just pick a few. And if you feel they
are total baloney all the same; ignore and find solution elsewhere. Like I said
earlier, I am also groping in the dark trying to find my way in this dark
tunnel of love. A colleague once joked that even the usual light at the end no
longer glows so you have to wade through doubtful of how things will turn out. Don’t
laugh. Okay, here we go.
First, ‘unfriend’ all your former girlfriends from your
Facebook account. Don’t warn them. Simply, go to their timeline; right click on
‘Friends’ where you will find among other options ‘Report/Block’ and the last
on the list ‘Unfriend.’ Click that one. Refresh and marvel at the magic of your
hands. It will give you the stale and pale option of ‘Add Friend.’ Please, don’t
add her.
Second, delete her number from your phone book. Then go
to the messages. Select the option ‘Delete All’ just to be sure. And please don’t
forget the ‘Recent Contacts.’ Anything incriminating, tempting, alluring that
may draw you back to a ‘past you would sacrifice everything to expunge from
your memory for now.’
Third, engage yourself in other things. From early
childhood, you loved books. Reading and writing and boozing and all those imprudent
shitload deranged poets do . Get your life back, pal. It’s not too late. You
reaffirmed that ‘you want to start again.’ Start now. Tomorrow has no time for procrastinators,
assholes and delusional bigots.
Fourth, forget those damn women forever. I mean forever.
Find other girls. New ones. Why are you apprehensive to try out new things
these days, huh? In a movie I recently watched, and, I believe, you have
watched it, too: ‘The Great Gatsby’, a character remarks: ‘You cannot repeat the
past.’ Period. Get over it now boy. The past is gone and buried.
Lastly,
and I learnt this the hard way, too. Here I quote Michael Jackson in his song Billie
Jean: ‘And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts.’ The gut-wrenching
memories that you caused a poor lass to flop in her national examinations and
develop near depression because of your irresponsible and apathetic habits does
not impress at all.
Every dog has its
day. You have had yours. Adjust accordingly.
Bye and hope to see you soon.
Yours’ faithfully,
A.A.
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