Tujuane Chic is Right and Haters Can Go Jump in Red Sea

      The Tujuane chic is absolutely right. I have said it. I am not kidding and those who don’t like her can go and lodge a complaint at the UN.  

      For those still in darkness, Tujuane is a programme on KTN that brings together people who would like to hook-up. It’s a match-making show testing the compatibility of two people in their first blind date.

    The furore- banging of tables and rage blowing in the social sites is because of one lovely Susan. Real name Mirfat Musa who ekes a living at Imagine Pictures. Her supposed victim is one ‘Eastlando’ dude – George Gitau who is a director of photography. Here are reasons why Suzzie (Emphasis for keeping it real) was right and Gitau was off the tangent.

       By the way as I write this defense for Susan, a fan page created because of her forthrightness has 9,797 likes. It’s called ‘Kenyans Against Susan - #tujuane.’ Unfortunately, I also liked it. However, back to real business. 

 

        First, George slips-up by asking his catch what to order for her. How does a dude start something like ‘Can I…?’ to girl whose body language reads: “Atawesmake {Will he manage?} I am no Chris Hart, Silas Nyanchwani or Jackson Biko but just tell the girl simply with subtle command: ‘We are having fries. It has lovely ingredients.’ At least convince the girl your choice is the right one. That’s what being in control mean. From the word go, she should be made aware you are steering the date.

      Second, Susan tests Gitau with a mild question that should have favored him but he develops cold feet. “Do I look like eating fries?” Why did Gitau not apply ‘hood’ humor to satirize that remark, huh? I would have told Suzzie: “Yea. But mostly, you look sweeter than the moon.” The point is if she intends to make you look a dumb ass because you eat fries, ridicule what she eats too. Tit for tat is a fair game.

        Third, accepting to take what the lady has suggested was how Gitau sold out. What the fuck? Because she wants let’s say Fried meat and rice then you settle for that. That’s where the dude moved from a frying pan to fire. Susan pulled a Nyeri on him. Curling his tail and agreeing to play by her rules/choices was a big disgrace to the male fraternity. You double-crossed.

        Fourth, unless this Tujuane show was choreographed I don’t know why Gitau could not have jumped on the ‘Julie Gichuru’ mention. If both guys do photography, then they are closer to the media profession. Gitau had a chance to discuss the amiable personality of Julie. Her Sunday Live programme. At least to relax and let this lady understand you are well versed on current issues. However, Gitau went there with a fixed mindset –formulaic rules- read in gutter press- Firimbi -or worse- from friends who are single. God have mercy! There is no offense in getting opinion from pals- I do most of the time- or even read those newspaper columns and relationship blogs but approaching the situation without flexibility is tantamount to silliness. Gitau dug his own grave and I will not shed a tear for his humiliation.

          Fifth, this sweater jibe is where Susan caught Gitau flat-footed. However, I must commend him for returning ‘fire’ with ‘fire’ by asking about her lightness and bright colors. Again, the guy had a chance to play the ball to his advantage. Tell her sharp people wear red-stripped sweaters especially in the evening. Research says so. She will not question because truth be told, Susan was daft from the onset.

        Sixth, I am diva declaration showed clearly that Gitau is a wimp. A baby sitter. “Oh, so you are a diva, you must be into opera music very much ama?” You continue:“Though I listen to Luciano Pavarotti- that Italian guy. Bad he passed on. I miss him a little.” Then you pose bravely: “You know him.” She says no. “But you are into divas; I also thought you would know Pavarotti. So famous.” Susan would have been put into her corner. But Gitau let the girl scare his mind with her ‘Diva’ stance. Divas informally are idiotic girls obsessed with their materialistic lives- into Nicki Minaj a lot- overwhelm the rest of humanity with their photos on social networks how they have perfect lives- love fencing… nada nada nada.

        Seventh, when Susan asked Gitau: “Are you shy?” I knew the dude’s goose had been skinned, boiled, cooked and finally served. If a lady can read through me to that extent then I scatter. All along, she was the one in charge of the date. Gitau had asked for a lift in the blind date.

        A dude stands a ‘live interview’ of his own errors from a girl who knows what she wants then we condemn the girl? Are we all finally heading to Mathari Mental Hospital? Gitau deserved what he got. Susan knew what she wanted, Gitau was clueless. Soiling the name of ‘hustlers’ for no apparent reason.

        My vote for Mirfat ‘Susan’ Musa. I am going to unlike now!