No, Opposites Don’t Attract: Says Book

           Since ages, in relationships; people believe in the popular myth that ‘opposites attract.’ This has been popularized in our social settings and among peers, but fuelled by romantic novels, love poems and Hollywood flicks. To the chagrin of many, a psychology book discredits the traditional myth citing its lack of research evidence. 

            According to Scott O. Lilienfeld and others in 50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Misconceptions about Human Behavior, “…dozens of studies demonstrate  that people with similar personality traits are more likely to be attracted to each other than people with dissimilar personality traits.”

Courtesy: Daily

             This is apparent. People desire partners with the same likes, beliefs, values and even passions as theirs. Homophily (bonding and associating with persons having similar tastes), therefore, outweighs complementarity (the idea of ‘opposite’ attraction) according to the book.

            Studies also back the choice of our friendships. “We’re considerably more likely to hang out with people with similar than dissimilar personality traits.” However, ‘like attracts like’ is not only limited to personality, but stretches to individual’s attitudes and values. 

            Citing studies conducted by Donn Byrne, a Psychology professor, and colleagues; we usually prefer a person holding views similar to ours. For instance, an ardent Jubilee or CORD supporter will only want to share political views with those of his political party. 

            “So we’re about twice as likely to be attracted to someone with whom we agree on 6 of 10 issues as someone with whom we agree on 3 of 10 issues.” According to the university professors, repulsion is greater for people with dissimilar attitudes as compared to personality traits.

            This should not dampen your spirits in finding a soul mate with a different personality trait. Comfort zone bores more than Harambee Stars. Dating a partner who loves reading, travelling and listening to music as you do may be reassuring but will turn stale. Individuals want real challenge in relationships to keep boredom at bay and stoke dying embers of romance.